Category Archives for "Rants"

Darth Vader helmet and a fat suit. Let the games begin…

As I got out of the taxi my heart sank. Then it started pounding. I’d never been so nervous in ALL my life.

“Am I completely crazy?” the voice in my head kept saying. As I watched the taxi drive away I was frozen in fear.

Then I saw my beautiful wife walking towards me. She was laughing like I’d never seen her laugh before.

She exclaimed,”You look awesome! Let’s get inside and have some fun.”

I couldn’t see anything through the dark helmet and the fogged over lenses. Man how did Darth Vader ever breath in this thing? It’s like a sauna. A solar heated one at that.

The shocked faces of the people in line made my heart pound even more.

“What the f*#k am I doing?” I keep saying to myself over and over.

I heard chuckles from the people in line. I heard one guy condescendingly say, “Man I don’t know about all THAT.”

He was basically calling me a freak in a passive aggressive way.

I begged my wife to leave. I can’t do this. It’s just too crazy.

—-Rewind to the previous night——

At dinner we were all excited about the Star Wars themed party coming the next day.

It was May 4th, the national Star Wars “geek out” day. And I was all in. 100% committed to geeking out.

I was begging everyone to wear a costume but no one was biting. vader-fat-suitOf course my wife was in. She’s always in as long as she can look hot.

I had what I thought would be the ultimate crazy costume.

I was right. (About the crazy part anyway)

——Back to the party——

I choked as I looked in the mirror. There I was, staring at Darth Vader.

I had become that character with the full replica helmet.

And a fat suit.

But not just any fat suit.

I was Darth Vader as a fat stripper.


What is wrong with me?


For weeks now I’ve been extolling the virtues of being yourself and being selfish. To take care of yourself first.

For weeks now I’ve been walking the talk. And it’s paid off in spades. Here’s the problem. Sometimes that shit is SCARY AS F*&K! It’s not always easy to really let yourself out. To let your freak flag fly.

But after the rollercoaster ride of emotions I went through on Star Wars Geek Out Day, I’m more convinced than ever it’s the only way to live.

Was I scared? Hell yeah.

Did I have a blast? Hell yeah times 1000.

Without emotions we are effectively dead.

I’ve been semi-dead for a long time. But no longer.

My cure was a Darth Vader helmet and a fat stripper costume.

What’s yours?

Matt “Sweating My Ass Off In That Helmet” Trainer

P.S. My wake up call came from two sources. One was my good friend Micheal Bernoff and the other was my own brain.

Bernoff showed me the exact steps to take to get anything I want in life. He teaches that here. Go there now. Your inner self is dying to learn this stuff.

The second part was my realization that SOLID email marketing is the key to ALL success online. You can learn about that here.

I know it’s scary. Believe me, I’ve pushed my own limits and it scared the shit out of me. But you know what? I wouldn’t trade it for the world now. I’m being myself and I love it.

If you don’t have that freedom then you are missing out on the wonders of all this life has to offer.

Go here and here to get started. Your life is on the line. Stop being semi-dead.

As Andy Dufresne in the movie Shawshank Redemption said:

“Get busy livin’ or get busy dyin’.”

And please send me pics of your craziness. It would be nice to not be alone in this. 🙂


Why I unfriended my mom on Facebook

This is one of the hardest emails I’ve ever written. It’s going to offend and shock many of you. But whatever. It is what it is. I’ve spent WAY too much of my life trying to please other people.

I’m done with that. Time to take care of me.

It took 42 years but I finally woke up.

So love it or hate it, this is raw and real.

Don’t like it? There’s an unsubscribe link at the bottom. Kick rocks.

—– Deeeeeeep breath. In. Out. In. Out. ——

OK here goes.

Today I unfriended my own mother on Facebook. It’s been a long time coming.

I’ve secretly wanted to do it FOR YEARS. I just didn’t have the balls. I knew I would feel majorly guilty. That’s pretty much how I’ve lived my whole life, in guilt.

Way not healthy.

In the last year I’ve learned a very hard lesson. It’s one that very counter-intuitive. But it’s SO essential to learn.

See, we’ve been taught that selfishness is wrong. Really wrong.

That fallacy has caused more pain and guilt than anything in the history of the world. (At least in my humble but very accurate opinion.)

The truth is that selfishness should be our first priority. (Wow that’s a crazy sentence. Read that again.)

Here’s why.

If you don’t take care of yourself first, it’s IMPOSSIBLE to be of any use to anyone else.

If you constantly put others needs before your own then you are giving the world a very diminished version of yourself. If you constantly push yourself down to appease others first then you make yourself small.

Over years of doing this that smaller version of yourself starts getting pissed off.

It wants to be known.
It wants to be seen.
It wants to be acknowledged.
It wants to be real.
We keep pushing ourselves inward. Making them small and more and more pissed. Eventually they FORCE themselves out.

This is a big chunk of what causes:

  • Drug addictions
  • Alcoholism
  • Failed marriages
  • Bankruptcy
  • Midlife crises
  • And so much more pain and guilt

But we all do it.

Because we’ve been taught wrong.

You should ALWAYS think about yourself FIRST in EVERYTHING.

Then, and ONLY then, should you think about others.

You before your spouse. You before your kids. You before your friends. You before your business. You before your acquaintances or business relationships.

You before your mom.

That’s what led to finally pulling the trigger on unfriending my mom on Facebook.

She’s not healthy for me and never has been. I know it’s an awful thing to say about your own mother. But it’s true.

I refuse to feel guilty about this. I’m simply done communicating with her.

She’s tried to make me feel small and unworthy my entire life.

I now know it’s just her own self worth that she’s projecting on to me. But whatever the reason. I’m done.

It took 42 years of pain and sorrow to do it but here I am.

And I feel great about it. I’m FINALLY making decisions and taking action that are FOR ME and me only. Not anyone else. I’ve finally learned the power of being selfish.

It’s amazing and I highly recommend it.

In the last several weeks since making this sweeping change to be extremely selfish, my entire life has changed.

I’m making more money and loving every minute of it.

I’m no longer a slave.

If you want what I have then join me here or here or here.

Just do something to make a radical shift.

Be the most selfish version of yourself that you can.

You are worth it.

Talk soon,


May 2, 2013

You will never make any money online

As I sat in front of my computer staring at the screen, tears started welling money

“There’s just too much to learn. This is all too hard,” I said to myself.

The year was 2005.

I was desperately trying to make first online business work.

I failed miserably.

I made EVERY mistake in the book.

  • I didn’t research the market.
  • I spent MONTHS creating a product that no one wanted.
  • I didn’t know how to sell.
  • I didn’t start with building a list

I spent tens of thousands of dollars on courses and tools only to watch NONE of it work.

It’s demoralizing.

“Everyone makes this all look so easy!” I used to scream in frustration.

That was always quickly followed up with more negative self-talk like:
“You will never make any money online.”

Here’s the thing, in 2005 it was a lot easier than now. And right now it’s easier than it will be a few years from now. It’s just how life works.

But here’s the REAL secret to all this.

Listen closely.

Lean in because I’m going to whisper it in your ear:
“None of that matters.”


Yep none of anything I’m talking about matters. Because you will never get anywhere if your head/mindset is screwed up. The bad news is that nearly 100% of us has a screwed up mindset.

There’s no shame in it. It’s just how society programs us.

But the good news is…

It’s VERY simple and easy to fix.

And my friend Micheal Bernoff will show you how in minutes.

There’s just a couple simple steps to get everything you’ve ever wanted in life.

  • Make more money
  • Forever defeat procrastination
  • Have better relationships
  • Become a rock star in everything do

For reals!   <—Love this grammar thing I’m learning

I know getting your head right is not as sexy as how to make a million dollars in the next 5 minutes.

But even if I did show you how to do that, you’d lose it all pretty damn fast if your head is messed up. That’s the same vicious cycle I was on for years until I discovered Michael’s stuff.

Go here now to register and get on the call. It’s a short training call but it will forever change your life.

I promise you that.

Talk soon,

Here’s the link again to register in case you missed it somehow or are lazy and scrolled to here.


May 1, 2013

Our ancestors were wussies

Our ancestors were weak.old fart

They were lame.

They were boring.

They could barely think.

They couldn’t even come up with a car much less something like the Internet or email.

I mean…DUH!

Why didn’t they just start out with WordPress blogs instead of futzing around with the printing press.


So boring.

Then to top it off they were all smaller, weaker and couldn’t even live to an average age of 50.

I mean COME ON!

Why are we so nostalgic when our ancestors were so clearly inferior?

I’m getting sick of all the praise heaped on the previous generations. I mean really. Did they come up with the George Foreman Grill? Or P90x? Or even Instagram?

Nope. Nope. And Nope.

They definitely did not even conceive of the New Technology of Success.

Enough said. I think I’ve proven my point.

Talk soon,
Matt “Stronger Than Grandpa” Trainer

P.S. OK so you should really come check out Michael Bernoff’s New Technology of Success.

Go here to register for the teleseminar.

He teaches a very cool way to get more done in 5 days than you get done in 5 months. That part alone is worth getting on the call.

And oh yeah, you’ll learn why your brain is holding you back from making all the money you’ve ever wanted.

Pretty much like our wussie ancestors.

So don’t be like them. Go get registered and learn how to not be weak and lame.


April 29, 2013

The spaceship is NOT coming…

Over the weekend I went to an art show in Beverly Hills.The Mothership

Beverly Hills, California has to be one of the weirdest places on the planet.

The vibe there is so strange.

It feels exciting and depressing at the same time.

At this show there were big time A-list celebrities and loads of paparazzi. To watch them swarm the celebs like sharks in a feeding frenzy was so surreal. It’s one thing to see it on TV or whatever. By I was inches away watching it all unfold. It was insane.

Then inside I met, rub shoulders and talked with many of those celebs. Also very surreal. Somehow I had managed to get invited into this small circle of strangeness. I thought I wanted to be around them. I learned something way different later.

Many were just regular people that happen to be famous.

Others (most sadly) were complete douche bags who add no value to world.

Here’s the thing that hit me.

I’m not like any of these people.

I thought I wanted to be there but then it quickly became boring and empty. I started to hate it and feel really uncomfortable.

Later that night I was having wine with friends who had gone with me to the event.

We were all talking about how strange it all felt.

That’s when it hit me. I’m a f*%king alien.

I don’t fit in anywhere on this earth.

At least that’s what it feels like.

I may be alone in this but I really think we all feel this way sometimes. Like we don’t fit in. Like our thoughts are strange. Like we are waiting for the Mothership to come take us away from this very backwards world.

Here’s the shitty part.

The spaceship is not coming.

There is no white knight coming to save you.

You are it.

You are alone.

Here’s the fantastic part.

You are your own mothership.

You have everything you need to build life the way you want it.

You just have to stop being afraid to let your inner alien show.

We are all “weird” and “messed up” and “aliens”.

But that’s also what saves us, makes us unique and makes us beautiful.

Unfortunately society has made 99.99% of us afraid to let the world see our “weird” side. The dichotomy is that is what the world REALLY wants to see.

So let your freak flag FLY!

Be yourself.

Embrace the alien.

Because the spaceship is not coming.

Talk soon,

P.S. Here’s the link to the replay from Thursday’s live postcard traffic training Luke and I did. You can either download it or play it in your browser.

Let me know what you think.

Go here to check it out.

P.P.S. For those of you who are tempted to quote the Bible to me or anything like that about “saviors” or whatever. Please don’t. I already know all that stuff. I grew in a very Christian home and I’ve personally read the ENTIRE Bible at least 10 times. That’s not the point of this email.

April 23, 2013

“Leave me alone! I’m tired of all your nonsense!”

I used to get really bothered by negative responses to my emails. I put a lot into this and I used to take it as a personal attack. But not anymore.

I actually enjoy them now…as weird as that sounds.

The subject line above was the exact response I got to my email from yesterday.

Here’s a screenshot:


It actually made me laugh and still does. I love it because it tells me I’m doing this right. I’m getting people emotionally involved. Fortunately I get loads of positive responses too.

People either like you or they don’t. I’d MUCH prefer someone to have strong emotional reactions to what I do that to just do a shoulder shrug or worse, be bored.

Boredom is the kiss of death.

See, every buying decision is EMOTIONAL.

Every. Single. One.

If you aren’t tapping into people’s emotions, you are blowing it.

[——————-Commercial Break-——————–]

 How To Build An Email List With Postcards
People who subscribe to your email list from a postcard
are WAY more valuable to you than other subscribers.

They will stay on your list longer and most of the time they will buy more.

So how do you build an email list with postcards?

Here’s just one way:

Instead of using a phone number as the response mechanism on your postcard,
you simply make your call to action say something like this…

“Send me an email and I’ll reply with all the details,
my email address is”

When they send you an email you can have them automatically subscribed to your
auto-responder and it will send them the info they requested and voila,
they are on your list.

It works way better than having them go to an optin or squeeze page.

There’s much less resistance to them sending you an email versus them giving
you their email, although in the end, it’s the same thing.

If you liked this little tip, my friend Luke Jaten and I are doing a
teleseminar on Thursday night all about ways that we’ve used
direct mail and the internet together to magnify the power of both mediums.

You don’t have to register for it. Just mark your calendar.

Here’s the call info:
Thursday April 25th at 6PM Pacific Time
Phone: (773) 897-0046
Attendee Conference ID: 36185#

Should be educational and entertaining.

[—————— End Commercial Break ——————-]

Don’t be afraid to upset people. Just be yourself.
(How many times have I said that lately?)

Just don’t be lukewarm.

Your list will love you for it and they will become FOLLOWERS instead of just “optins”.

See you on Thursday night for our live training.

Here’s the call info again:

Thursday, April 25th at 6PM Pacific Time
Phone: (773) 897-0046
Attendee Conference ID: 36185#